Date: 
Thu, 2012-04-05 07:00
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TALKS FROM MORNING SATSANGS ON 5TH APRIL 2012 AT BIDADI ASHRAM,INDIA In today’s morning satsang, Paramahamsa Nithyananda answers questions about relationships. When we experience insecurity because of disagreements over finances, we do not have a true love relationship. The love center has not fully opened and we have created instead an arrangement of convenience. Once we fall truly in love, the concept of money becomes irrelevant to us. Money loses its significance, because we feel fulfilled at so profound a depth in our lives. Before we can experience divine love, the highest love, we first need to open ourunderstanding of human love. Once we encounter the shift from security to fulfillment at the human level, we can expand to the awareness of divine love.
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questions, relationship, experience, insecurity, finances, love, convenience, money, lives, experience, understanding, human, security, fulfillment, awareness, divine,God,Paramahamsa Nithyananda
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Q.1.  Money is becoming a huge problem in our relationship. I think my boyfriend spends too much. Meanwhile, I've been accused of being "stingy" and "unrealistic." How can we resolve these conflicts and develop a "team strategy" in the area of finance? – Victoria, Oklahoma, USA

Victoria, first thing I am surprised seeing the question. It used to be always the other way! Men are supposed to be stingy, women are supposed to be spending and men usually complain women spend. I am very happy that the problem is the other way. Second thing, understand the whole question shows the shallowness you have in relationship. Understand, Victoria, when you are really in love or relationship, suddenly, money becomes useless. Please understand, this is the scale I am giving you to find out whether you are in love or not. Suddenly money will look fake and useless. Suddenly it will not matter to your life anymore. If you feel that, only then you are in love. Understand, I am not saying when you are in love, you will throw away all the money, gold, everything in the streets. No. Suddenly your thought is not centered anymore on money. It is centered on the other person. I have seen all my ashramites going through that sweet space. That is one of the best thing that can happen to a human being. You should experience that space at least once in your life where money just suddenly loses its power over you. I am seeing hundreds of my Ashramites donating crores worth of their wealth, without even thinking twice. See if they are struggling to donate, I'll know very clearly. They don’t even think twice.

When you are in love, I tell you, suddenly money loses its power over you. Victoria, I don’t think you are in love or he is in love; maybe this is some convenient arrangement. I always used to tell a story of a prostitute and taxi driver. One taxi driver, in the middle of the night picks up a girl and drives her to some remote area, then does whatever he wants .Finally, she says, at the end of everything, "give me 200$; I am a call girl". This fellow gives the 200$, brings her back to the city and says, "give me 200$; I am a taxi driver." Maybe the relationship you have - you need to re-think, revisit, review. Somewhere it is the arrangement of convenience, not love. There is no relationship. Because, when you are in love, suddenly the concept of money will not be there for both. I think he is in love with you, but you are not in love with him. Victoria, you need to look little deep.

Man has only two centric thinking - 1. Money centric, 2. fulfillment centric. When you are in love, the fulfillment center is awakened, it wakes up and it does not let you think about money, it does not let you think about future security. I always tell people - even if you have one question about your future security, you are not in love, you have not experienced love. I have told many times to my own Ashramites, even though I don’t accept or take their properties. If they feel their property is their future security, I tell them the Guru disciple relationship has not flowered, forget about it, still, you need to go a long way. So causally, they are able to give up everything. I have seen very funny things. They will give up crores of their property to me without even thinking second time, saying "this is for Swamiji". Understand this one thing, when your love is awakened, suddenly you think fulfillment based, and insecurity gives way.

 

After that, you struggle with some other patterns. That is different. But, when you are a in love, when the guru disciple relationship starts, this giving up happens. I tell you, even between husband and wife, when love flowers, even between boyfriend and girlfriend, when real love flowers, suddenly the concept of future, insecurity, all that becomes meaningless. That is why there are thousands of decisions which you take when you are in love, which you repent for. Because, when the love disappears, you repent for all those decisions. With the master when you are in love, whatever decisions you take, you feel happy about it, because continuously you break all other patterns. When you break more and more of your patterns, this love gets established into your system. That becomes very part of your very system. With love, your blood becomes milk. Understand. This is the exact similie used on Mahavira. Today we should all remember and offer our respects to Mahavira, a great incarnation’s birthday. Today Mahavira incarnated. Today, lot of wonderful things have happened. Sri Krishna's Rasaleela. From today 42 days, Sri Krishna had the beautiful play of his Raasa leela till the  chaitra maasa Amavaasya. And, Mahavira was born today.

There is a beautiful description of Mahavira, that when he became enlightened his blood became milk. Of course it is a very poetic expression, means the amount of love, he just became extraordinary love! Mahavira is the master I can say who lived in ultimate insecurity, not bothered about future or security. I tell you, when you don’t bother about your future or security, when that fear disappears from your inner space, even your sweat will not smell. That is the scale. There will be a beautiful Ananda Gandha around you – smell of love, smell of bliss which puts anybody who comes in your breathing space into that same state. It is not just only yogic quality, even ordinarily when you are in love, suddenly the concept of insecurity will disappear, the concept of money will disappear. You will start thinking from fulfillment center. Victoria, when I read your question I am really afraid that you are not in love. So I wanted you to review the whole very relationship itself because any team strategy in the area of finance will be an arrangement of convenience. At least, see, if you are doing this after spending 50 years together, in the old age, when  you are about  to retire, you wanted to sit and discuss the team strategy about money, finance, I'll accept.

But, before even marrying, you are saying boyfriend and before even marriage, you want to develop a team strategy in the area of finance. Victoria, better forget about this marriage, better forget about this relationship. You are not in love. So, wait. Go on. Continue your search. I bless you that you will fall in love really - with himself, the same guy, or with somebody else. But, I wanted to tell you one thing. You are not tasting love. You have not tasted love. When you taste love, first thing happens is, you forget about money. You become fulfillment centered. The very insecurity about the future disappears. Even though the other person constantly shows the insecurity to you in front of your eyes. You fanatically do not think about insecurity. That is what exactly happens when I find a right disciple.

I will constant show insecurity to them, but the person fanatically will not think about any insecurity, go on feeling that tremendous security and fulfillment centered thinking. Then I will say - this person is a disciple.

Somebody goes to a great incarnation, Ramanuja. Today is the day Ramanuja had a Darshan of Vishnu on Garuda. That is also one more thing. Somebody goes to Ramanuja and says "I want to get enlightened, please teach me the science". Ramanuja says "have you experienced love in your life, even once?" That guy says "no I am a celibate I never loved or allowed anybody to love". Ramanuja looks at him and says," Get lost. first learn ordinary human love and come back, I will teach you higher love, divine love". When you cannot even open your ordinary human love center, how are you going to be open to the higher the divine divine love center?

Today, so many things have happened.  Ramanuja had the Darshan of Vishnu in Garuda, Mahavira incarnated on the planet earth, andamong the 3 recorded marriages of Shiva, , two have happened on this day, today. Shiva had three marriages, with Devi herself, one in the Sati's body, Dakshayini, another one, Himaputri, Parvathi, Parvataraja's daughter. Third, paandyaraja's daughter, Meenakshi. Three marriages, Shiva had. Two, with Sati and Parvathaputri, Parvathi. Dakshaputri Dakshayini, Parvataputri Parvathi. With both the bodies, Shiva married Devi, today. Phalguna month, Poornima. Usually, it comes on the uttara nakshatra. The marriage with Meenakshi happened on Chaitra month Poornima, means the next month Poornima. We will be celebratingnext month. We celebrate everything based on Meenakshi. So, we celebrate next month. But, in Arunachala temple, today they observe the Shiva and Devi’s marriage festival. Not only in Arunachala, all the Shiva temples all over the world, other than Madhurai, all Shiva temples celebrate the marriage festival, in Kapaaleeshwara temple in Mylapore, all over the world.

 Whatever Ramanuja said is the truth. When you can't even fall in ordinary human love, you can't  fall in ultimate divine love. You cannot open that channel. Only with ultimate divine love, the patterns can be broken, patterns melt, you enter into the pattern-less space where you live from freedom to freedom, where you move from freedom to freedom, where your actions are from freedom to freedom, where your doing is from freedom to freedom and being is freedom! Victoria, you only think you are in love. You are not in love. Wake up!

Next question.

Q.2.  We've been married only a short time, but I'm already beginning to feel that I've made a mistake. As a matter of fact, I'm afraid I ended up with the wrong person. What do I do now?    – Eric, Australia

Eric, first thing. Changing the person is not going to work for you. If you ask this same question to me before the marriage, my answer would have been different. I would have said - alright, this is not the right person for you, escape. But, now as you already committed, I will recommend you trying to change you, because all your patterns, concepts, ideas - that only makes the other person look wrong. Your fantasies only makes the other person look wrong. It is time you understand and alter your patterns. Look into the depths of your being and transform you. Eric, I feel the fear you are having now shows the love has come down, the love has reduced. Now it is time for you to work and develop that trust which is beyond love and transform you. Please understand, when you marry, first one year enjoy the romance. From the second year, use that whole thing for enlightenment. Once the honeymoon is over, now start the process of enlightenment, transforming yourself. When God understood he cannot be continuously available to everybody in the form of Guru, he created the system for everybody to evolve, that is marriage!

So Eric, I'll only recommend transformation from your side than changing the person. I might have suggested the change if you have asked before marriage. But, marriage is such a sacred institution. When you commit, after that, the only possibility should be your transformation. Other than that, all other doors should be closed.  You should not even think of any other doors.